Saturday, February 03, 2007

Costly test

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying, "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor handed the tests back out.

This student got his test back and $64 change.

Friday, February 02, 2007

14 cases of getting married

CASE 1 Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

CASE 2 At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
CASE 3 Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married,he is finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man
losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

CASE 5 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."

CASE 6 Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad : "That happens in most countries son."
CASE 7 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."
CASE 8 A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes

When a newly married man looks happy,
we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
CASE 10 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
CASE 11 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied,"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
CASE 12 A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "wife wanted" The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

CASE 13 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new.

CASE 14 A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire."

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Good head

Larry was walking home one night when he came acros a girl tied to the railway tracks. He untied her and took her back to his place where they ended up having sex all night long. They had sex in the kitchen, they had sex in the lounge, they had sex in the bedroom. It was the best night of Larry's life.

Larry was telling his mate about this a couple days later and his mate just couldn't believe it. "What did she look like, Larry? Was she good looking?" his friend inquires, leering. "I dunno," says Larry. "She didn't have a head."

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Pretty face or sexy body?

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The dog and the wife

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you ?