Saturday, January 28, 2006

Insurance Don

Q : What's the difference between an insurance company CEO and the mafia don?

A : The insurance company CEO can tell you how many people will die this year. The mafia don can tell you the names of all of them.

Friday, January 27, 2006

The value of a Catholic education...and a #2 pencil

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through class.
One day, her teacher, a nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
"Tell me, Susie, who created the universe?"'
When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny, sitting behind Susie, took his pencil and stuck her in the rear . . .
"God Almighty!" shouted Susie.
"Very Good" the nun said, and continued teaching class.

A little later, the nun asked Susie, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But Susie had fallen back to sleep and didn't stir. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and poked her butt with the pencil.
"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Susie.
"Excellent" said the nun.
Since Susie seemed to be on a roll, the nun asked a third question . . .
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had their twenty-third child?"
Knowing Susie was asleep again, Johnny gave her a pretty fierce jab in the tush.
This time Susie jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The nun fainted . . .