Saturday, February 04, 2006

Church dinner

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games.

The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts - Janet wanted to outdo all the others.

So Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak.  However, knowing that mushrooms are so expensive, she told her husband, "No mushrooms --they cost too much."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and picksome of those  mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."
He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them…they're OK."

So Janet decided to give it a try.  She picked a bunch --washed,sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) double handful.  Ol' Spot ate every bite.

All morning long,  Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.  The meal was a great success and Janet even hired a lady from town to help her serve it. She
had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

After everyone had finished eating, they relaxed, socialized, and started singing playing some music.

About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Janet's ear.  She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died."

Janet went into hysterics After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it.  I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. I'll give everyone enemas and I will pump out every ones stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases,syringes and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.  After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "Done, everything will be fine now", and he left.

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time, the helper lady came in and said, "You know, I've been thinking...that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."

 Life Is Uncertain ........ Eat Dessert First!

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