What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?
Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Going to heaven
Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied : The legs...because every night I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
A Kid replied : The legs...because every night I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Osama's Secret Code
After numerous rounds of attack, yet the statement made by the US government 'We don't even know if Osama Bin Laden is still alive', Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it c ontained a single line of coded message: 370H-SSV-0773HBush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleeza Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6 in London.
Eventually they asked the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help.
Within a minute the Mossad emailed the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding the note upside down."
Bush opened the letter and it c ontained a single line of coded message: 370H-SSV-0773HBush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleeza Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6 in London.
Eventually they asked the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help.
Within a minute the Mossad emailed the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding the note upside down."
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
God
1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end! -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them..
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end! -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them..
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Blood flow
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted. “’Cause your feet ain't empty."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted. “’Cause your feet ain't empty."
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Friends
"That's the secret about friends -- it's not all about how they can make your life better. It's all about how they can make you feel better about yourself." - Friendster's Sagittarius horoscope of 11 September.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)